Monday, April 4, 2011

Mother of the Bride

When Laura was a newborn I wanted time to stop all together to savor every second of her newborn sneezes and grunts and wiggles. As she grew, I came to accept that life would keep going, she would keep getting older. And then 3 more precious children came. Our house was full of kids and toys and giggles and stomping feet. When she was twelve years old, I had a friend sketch the four of them so that I could freeze that moment of their childhood forever. It was such a special time. I distinctly remember beginning to mourn the loss of my motherhood when Jonathan stopped using his pacifier. I began to treasure every moment of watching my children grow; intensely aware that this would not last. One morning as I brushed her hair, I remember wondering what it would be like when she was old enough to get married. And then it hit me: what would I be like? Would I be an emotional wreck? Would I want to plan her wedding so that it fit my tastes, would I like her future husband?

A few weeks ago I waited outside the dressing room as Laura tried on her wedding dress for her final fitting. No violins playing in the background to set the mood, no soft lighting, just a dressing room in a busy store. But Laura was beautiful. Every dress she tried on looked fabulous because she is tall and slender. This was the dress that she wanted, the dress that she will wear through the entryway of her next journey. And how did I feel? Did I want her to wear a dress that looked like the one I wore? Surprisingly, I didn't. I wanted her to have what she wanted. I really didn't have an opinon as long as she was happy. People have asked me what it's like to be the mother of the bride. To be honest, it's a great honor and privilege to watch her making wise decisions and seeking the Lord's guidance in every detail of her wedding. It's been that way all along in her relationship with Shawn. Laura and Shawn have sought to honor their parents and the Lord in every step of their relationship. They want desperately to do one thing: live in such a way as to make an impact on others. And I think they will, they've already had an impact on me.

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